She Is Fierce

She Is Strong

She Is Full Of Fire

She Is Brave

It's always hard to see your child suffering and you not being able to help them. It's been almost a year now that V has been having some problems with her breathing, especially at night. 

We've gone to more than one doctor and the same answer over and over again, she suffers from allergies and Claritin or nasal spray should do the job. A year later and she's worse, so much so that the sleepless nights are one too many. 

The latenesses to school are almost daily, because restless nights equal not wanting to wake up in the morning. It amazes me how it hasn't affected her learning, the teacher told me there could be a hurricane behind V and she would still be focused on the teacher and what she's teaching. Our jellybean is one strong girl and it hurts me so much to see her suffering.

Explaining to the doctors what we see while she sleeps is not an easy task, they didn't understand until I finally got it on camera. I was able to record her, and take her to urgent care with her pediatrician. There she was able to get an idea of what I was talking about and a sleeping test along with some other tests was ordered. 

It's been one week already since she had the sleep study and tests done, the nurse from the center called us yesterday with results and everything points towards baby girl having surgery. My husband broke down, my son had an emotional reaction, me on the other hand have decided to hold it together until we get all the options from her pediatrician who we see in a week and a half. I have decided to cross that bridge when it's time. Do I want her to have surgery again?

No, I would give anything to avoid her having surgery again. Last year when she had the emergency surgery they had trouble waking her up, her breathing wasn't good and it makes me sick to my stomach to think that our jellybean would go through it again. I'm terrified and am making sure to pray and pray that there is another option.

Just last night she asked me if there was any news regarding her tests, she added that she wondered if she needed more nasal spray to help her get better. I almost broke down, and had to gulp and say that we didn't know anything yet. A few nights before they called, I asked what if she needed surgery again for something else and she freaks out, last year she had no idea what was happening, she was half awake half dazed when she went informed surgery. This time she knows what surgery is and not her having surgery is not in her book of options. The days to come will be rough ones, I know in my heart and after watching her sleep at night that if surgery is going to help with her sleeping again, not to mention all of the long term effects that she is risking right now, then it's a good thing. But it's so scary to see your baby go into surgery. Ugh, again let me not go into negative thoughts and surround myself with good energy, vibes and prayers. 

As for the coming days I'm trying my best to not overthink and I'm keeping us busy, all of us but as soon as night time comes the reality starts to hit. I'm strong, our jellybean is strong!!

WE ARE STRONG!!!!

Together as a family we will overcome this but it doesn't take away the fear, as we get ready to face the coming days and what the future holds I ask that you please have our little jellybean in your prayers and thoughts. Please pray that she is strong to face the coming days.

We got this! She has this!

Together we will cross that bridge when the time is here.

Love,

Kary xoxo